Sweet Defeat

It has been a 6-year 4-month battle. Battle that involved financial woes and emotional investments between me and my former employer – name withheld to put off extra profit-making exposure.

Six years ago, they deliberately took away my security of tenure and my 14th month pay. I tried raising the issue but I was instead reprimanded. 3 years after, they again took everything else leaving just my basic pay, I was devastated.

Three months prior to the Project’s actual closure, we were briefly informed of our imminent predicament that was known as the infamous September 30. I was at the threshold of putting off to waste the dozen years I have spent with them. A group of friends and colleagues came together to come up with an inquiry letter for the company on our employment status. A number of agitating written exchanges came up that caused unwanted drama on my part, being the group’s designated email sender and receiver. If the company’s stand on our claims was unyielding, ours was unwavering too. It was such an upsetting period that it scared me even just to wake up, until I woke up 1 day and was verbally offered a 6-digit so called “end-of-project-bonus”! Why the sudden change of strategy? Were they finally bothered or alarmed of what we legitimately claimed that now they’re trying to buy us out? “No, no, we’ve been working this out for the last 2 years.” – says the boss. Oh how ungentlemanly of you to own up all the credit that comes with all these obviously deceiving intentions.

With the sufficient amount being offered, I was already about to concede if not for another blunder coming from them. They wanted us to sign a quitclaim/waiver that totally eliminates our previous lawful claims. If that is the case, then it wasn’t really a “bonus” after all. We had no choice but to go on with the battle, legally. It was also at this point that true colors emerged from so-called “friends”. As one colleague puts it – “money changes everything”. Sad but true.

We are still in battle. From the original group of 6, now remains only 3 determined persons. Bargaining is still being worked on for the next 2 weeks. Bargaining that have somehow optimistically resulted to:

1) unexpected “bonuses” for the majority of the staff;
2) an unanticipated budget cut from the company;
3) quite a large sum of unpredicted legal fees; and conceivably
4) an apparently stressed-out management team.

Perhaps in due time, I might get my own share too. It may not be as much as I originally estimated but what the heck, it could still be more than enough for me to get by until I find myself a decent new work. I may never be able to buy that expensive Macbook Pro or even that Pab Der Uomo loafers I’ve been drooling on for months but who cares? My colleagues’ accidental bonus, the unforeseen budget cut, the hefty lawyers’ fees and most of all, the annoying stress we have created for the management – all of these can never be replaced by any amount of consumable cash. This, for me is the sweetest thing despite not winning all of it.

Close Encounter With Pacman

(illustration by Joshua Cabrera)

Feb. 21,2009, past 12nn, NAIA Terminal 3

I was at the airport on my way to Busuanga when Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao suddenly walked in followed by a bevy of police bodyguards and cameramen. He was headed to a waiting plane for GenSan (which I found out later in the news, his newborn baby girl was going to be baptized that same day). It seemed everyone else just stopped and cleared the way for this ordinary looking but well-dressed man. Obviously the guy seemed to enjoy the attention as well. I noticed the people around were so excited to see him. I myself, who wasn’t really a big fan, was thrilled to see another celebrity just the same (I saw Denise Laurel and John Prats earlier). Everything else just seemed to happen so fast, suddenly he was already walking towards my direction. Unfortunately I didn’t have enough time to dig out neither my digicam nor my celfone from my bag and he was already in front of me! Good thing I was still able to think quickly, confidently offered my hand and blurted out to him “Doc Manny, congrats!” And automatically he shook my hand without even stopping and was already a few steps away when he looked back at me and grinned, pointing his forefinger at me and said “Hehe”. I bet he knew at that instant I was from Cebu. Why? Because only Cebuanos perhaps knew he became a “doctor” (haha!) earlier that month, having been awarded an honorary doctorate degree in human kinetics by the South Western University.

He went straight to the departure area and just like all other celebrities or high-ranking officials, he didn’t go through the usual strict security check, how much more bother to take off his shoes and have them run through the xrays? And the guards on duty? Oh they were even more than happy just to see the boxing great pass through them. Who cares? After all, he is the “people’s champ”, remember?

I could only wonder who these “people” really are.

reposted from lesliestinapay.tumblr.com

For Art's Sake

I am no artist. Honestly, I do not know how to draw by freehand. I do not know how to play around with colors. Neither do I have those creative eyes nor imagination. Lastly, I just simply do not know how to be one. Ironically though, I do it for a living and it has been feeding me for the last 18 years.

As a young high school student, I was as scatterbrained as a dead cat. My only concern then for college was how to get into UP for the sake of not being strictly tied up with the traditional mini skirts and high heeled shoes from other schools. Luckily, I managed to be accepted and even luckier I was already enrolled when the Fine Arts Program adviser found out I had not been asked to take the required talent exam for all new students. Everyday for the next 5 years, I trembled each time I’d get into any drawing class. No matter how great my Techniques teacher was, I just didn’t have those gifted hands like other students had. A cocky teacher even embarrassed me in front of our class by saying, “What’s your problem? You don’t know how to draw?” I had to keep myself from asking him back “Is that why you’re an abstractionist yourself, Sir?” You could only imagine how relieved I was to finally get out of art school after 5 long years.

And so as expected, I have made a career in the field of arts, specifically as a graphic designer. I spent 4 tiresome but exciting years in the local advertising world. My perfectionist boss taught me how to get into the real world. I hardly remember anything I’ve created that she had ever praised. But despite those veiled rejections, I am still grateful to her for everything that I’ve learned in the business – aesthetically and professionally speaking – for I have come to love my chosen profession.

Oddly, my next 12 years were spent in an unexciting environment yet with an unusually energetic new boss. Each time I submitted an artwork, all I could hear from her is “That’s great!” – until it already made me puke! In fairness though, I also learned a lot from her and I will always be thankful as well.

I lost my job a month ago but I must say the aphorism is true – that when God closes the door, He opens windows – because a week after my last day, a supplier wanted to engage me on some lay outing projects. I had no other choice but to accept it in order to get by. The thing is, my client is rather strange. He asks me to create a new and replace their outdated logo, instructs me to go ahead and play around with anything I could come up with and when I show him my works, he bluntly tells me “Is this all you could do? You know, you should ask me what I want because you don’t exactly know what I want. Blah blah blah!” Yeah, right. “So what is it then that really you like, Sir?”

I am back in the real world, I guess. Or should I just say, “It’s a jungle out there!”

Words

Words used to come out at such unlikely moments – while I’m in transit or during a bath or in the middle of the night, when I’d suddenly jump out of bed and reach out for a pen and paper (usually accumulated receipts from my wallet) and just jot them down till they all come into place. Sometimes, (especially when the signal’s full) I just go ahead and encode them instantly but most of the time, it takes the whole day for me to write and rewrite these ambushed thoughts. It has been a while since I last had an attack of words. October was supposedly an emotional month for me but words just didn’t show up like they always do. I don’t know why.

Today, November 7th – again at such an unlikely moment (while washing my delicate undies) – words unexpectedly flowed out along with the water coming out from the faucet. I had to rush before they run down the drain. And so here I am again, updating my fanless blog, trying hard to fill up the emptiness I’ve felt the past days. When, where and how they come next, I certainly have no idea. It just feels a lot better every time they get out.