Anticipation

(photo grabbed from treklens.com)

I once read that Carly Simon wrote and sang the song Anticipation while waiting for a date with Cats Stevens. Not knowing what’s really in store for her with that particular date with the legendary singer, anticipation she said, is making her late, and keeping her waiting. Hmmm.

This got into my mind while waiting for my pail to be filled up with water before bathing. At my age today, I could say I have practically spent half of my life waiting. As a student, everyday I waited for my school bus to arrive, waited for the classrooms to open, waited for my classmates and teachers to come, waited for recess and lunch time, waited for my ride back home and perhaps everything else that caught up with waiting. Thanks to my more than punctual father who have instilled on us his children, the importance of being on time, better yet ahead of time. In fact, I have already gotten used to setting my watch 15 minutes ahead – which usually startles people who ask for the time! My friends at school used to ask me “why do you come to school so early, don’t you ever get bored waiting for the others?”. I remember saying “I get bored more waiting for time at home, and no, I don’t mind waiting at all.” I don’t know why. All I know then is that I would rather be the one waiting than be the one being waited on. And so while waiting for whatever or whoever, I used to kill time by sightseeing (Sigh, I wasn’t much of a studious student.) – counting nice looking cars that pass by in particular. Back in the 80s, the sight of airconditioned Toyota Coronas and Corollas was such a joy it made me forget our beaten yellow VW Brasilia. When I got into college, Mitsubishi Pajeros and Nissan Patrols were the rage among the more affluent and I thanked them profusely for giving me reasons to enjoy some wasted time. Lately? Yes I’m still into counting Isuzu Alterras and Ford Everests.

It was only some years after school when I started savoring the peculiar sweetness of tardiness. Having been influenced by some tardy friends, perhaps it was also only then did I finally dare to try showing up late at work or at invitations, for the mere sake of experiencing firsthand the thought of being waited on. To my dismay, despite already being a few minutes late on the usual agreed time, I still come way ahead than everybody! And so I realized that waiting still made me more comfortable rather than the other way around.

My job at this USAID-funded project is about to end. Issues concerning my tenure also need to be rectified. And as a member of the conventional working class, I am now into scouting new prospects of income generating activities. I have already sent out feelers to some agency partners though unfortunately, I have not heard anything from them yet, which takes me back to the waiting game again. I may or may not be able to claim my separation pay; I may or may not find a new job sooner. But as Carly Simon sings, “I'm no prophet and I don't know nature's ways; So I'll try and see into your eyes right now; And stay right here 'cause these are the good old days”.

I’m going to be fine. After all, good things happen to those who wait, doesn’t it?

Bye Alan

I was cleaning up my personal files today and found this. Five years ago, I bade goodbye to an almost ideal boss – Dr. Alan T. White, former Chief of Party of CRMP, who ended his contract with the Project and opted to move in Hawaii with his family for good. During our despedida party for him, I was randomly picked to say a few words about him but I declined as I am never comfortable speaking in front of a lot of people. Instead, I wrote this the morning after and just before he left for Honolulu.

Dearest Alan,

I never got to thank you personally last night or perhaps I was just too shy to speak in front of all those people around us.

I’d like to thank you Alan (I can’t remember anymore if I have ever done this before), for giving me the wonderful job I had at CRMP. For the record, it has been my longest ever since I started working after college. I remember when you and Ciony were interviewing me sometime in ’98, I was so nervous and yet, after that interview, I’ve never been more than convinced that I finally got the job, not to mention you were saying you still had one applicant to talk to!

From the very beginning, I have always considered you as my real boss even with Kitty or Becky or Marco around. I have always respected your ideas even if at times I would wish to insist on my own. Working with you must have been one of my most memorable moments in my entire career. I will never forget the support and encouragement you’ve always shared with me. In all the times I’ve made mistakes, you have always reassured me to just go on and continue to do better. You have always been very kind especially with my annual evaluation that sometimes it makes me wonder if I’m really that deserving! When I got into a disagreement with Amin last year, you were the only one who talked to me and asked what really happened. It was such a discouraging moment for me back then but I was truly relieved when finally, somebody came up to me and assured me that everything’s going to be fine. You know, even if you have scolded me at that time, I would still be thankful and grateful for it because it made me realize that somehow, there’s still somebody who’s genuinely concerned with ordinary employees like me.

And so I thank you again Alan, for the rare experience of being able to work with you. For giving me something to work on each time I get bored with nothing to do. For giving worth and significance on the numerous projects I’ve done in the past, may they be major or minor. For being the quiet and calm yet very supportive boss to all of us. For being around every time we need help. And most of all, thank you for appreciating my small contribution to the success of CRMP and hopefully with FISH as well.

Good luck on your new home. May you and Vangie and Ian have a nice new life out there. I wish you all good health and a good life in Hawaii. I hope to still hear from you from time to time. If there’s anything else you need – old files or new ones to be done, you know I will always make time for that.

Thank you and may you have a safe trip.

LESLIE

SMile

Am I over it or not?

2 years ago, SM City Cebu invited me to join them to fill in a newly-created regional marketing position – Tenants’ Advertising Manager. I gave it a thought and became totally excited when I found out the job involved a lot of traveling to my previous hometowns Bacolod, Davao, Iloilo and Manila. Wow! The application process was a breeze. The pay being offered was more than enough. I was even told “my” desk had long been waiting for me haha! Everything was just simply tailor made. It was definitely an offer made just at the right time, almost spoon fed. I was already about to open my mouth when suddenly for no reason at all, they changed their mind, took back the offered spoon and abandoned me with my mouth wide open! I totally had no idea what transpired after my last meeting with them. Days turned into weeks and months turned into a year and still no word from them. It was so frustrating for me that to give them a call to ask whatever happened to it would only make me feel worst. More than a year after I finally got a word from my sister (who used to work with them and still had friends from the mall). Perhaps after some last minute review, they found out they were running out of budget for the said position, decided to scrap it altogether and just didn’t take the time to at least inform me. Ha! Talk about professionalism.

So a year and a half later, I finally got the answer I’ve long been waiting for. Not that I haven’t moved on (hello?) but at least some closure was finally made. Thinking about it now only makes me smile and laugh and look back again. Probably I’m only reminded of it these days as I’m already about to end my job in 2 months’ time. Sigh.

So am I really over it? I would say yes. But if they’d give me a call anytime soon, I can always change my mind, can’t I?

So SMile ;-)

Hulog Ng Langit

While waiting for our breakfast in the islands, a jeepload of lanzones breezes by the road in front of us. My co-workers and I sighed at the sight of it. A few seconds pass and 2 local men surface at the hotel gate and hand us half a sack of lanzones! “Padala ni Chairman!”

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On our way back to the mainland, we could hardly get to our bangkero as the entire wharf was filled with the island’s bounties for the next day’s tabo. We managed to traverse safely the wobbly sea and found out later a bunch of fruits were waiting for us at the larger lansa! “Padala ni MPDC!”

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My boss is a natural butter up and unfortunately, most of the time I get “sold” by her too. A few days before my birthday, a project partner comes in asking for help. As expected, the boss presents her “miracle worker” again to the partner in need. I was tasked to submit a green architectural building proposal in 3 days! Wah! My ultimate dream of becoming an architect is finally at reach but I certainly could not do it alone. I had to ask a real architect friend to do the dirty job for me. “Sige na, birthday gift na lang please!” I was so harassed preparing the proposal which extended till the weekend, I hardly enjoyed my 40th birthday. No, I was not in denial; I was just really stressed out.

A week after that, I got a call from them saying (though yet to be announced officially) that we won the bidding! Whether it was real or not, it's still good news, isn't it?

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