Binibirthday

29th of July 2010

It’s the eve of my 40th birthday and I’m feeling kinda lonely. I had no idea this is how it feels like to “begin one’s life”, as most people say. I must have felt the same way too in my past life – when I sprung out of my mother’s womb 4 decades ago. But just the same, I couldn’t even tell now, much less then.

Family and friends have long asked what my plans were. I keep telling them I don’t know. I have stopped “celebrating” my birthday on its 13th year. T’was probably also the last year my father could afford to buy me a whole lechon and have everybody around. The remaining years were spent “hitching” at a nephew’s birthday party.

I’ve had “surprise parties” too in the past. Thanks to my family and friends who took time preparing them – like waking up at midnight and treat me with some sweets; for showing up unannounced at intimate lunches or dinners; not to mention the countless treats from my boss. They’re all actually fun, albeit embarrassing at times. That’s why I’m relieved it’s raining tonight (with lightning, thunder, the works) so that only the bravest of the braves would show up again at midnight (assuming they’ve made earlier plans haha), knock at my door and yell out HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Regrets

Kenny Rankin sadly sang on the radio early this morning –

I have regrets
Regrets for my mistake in thinking only of myself
All that I have left are these regrets
Regret the things I did that somehow you just can't forgive
I guess I'll have to live with these regrets…

A song after, Daryl Hall screams over to John Oates’ guitar –

Sometimes I forget what I’m doing
I don’t forget what I want
Regret what I’ve done
Regret you?
I couldn’t go on…

And just before I got off from the car, Rupert Holmes, though hurting, calmly sang –

Him, him, him, what's she gonna do about him?
She's gonna have to do without him,
Or do without me, me, me,
No one gets to get it for free,
Time for me to make the girl see,
It's me or it's him…

What’s with all these mushy songs anyway? I could not relate (or rather refuse to relate?) to what they’ve been heartily expressing.

I’m reminded of Rupert Holmes and so I search for his songs in youtube. I found “Let’s Go Crazy Tonight” and it goes –

Life can be too much you see
We all need insanity
You’re off the hook when you’re off the wall
You got to say, the hell with them all

C’mon let’s get crazy tonight
No time to worry if we’re wrong or we’re right
Caught up with people we’ve never met
Ooh, Sunday morning, we’ll forgive and forget

Before the dawn begins to shine it’s hazy blue light
Let’s get crazy tonight…

Last week, I finally did something I didn’t want to regret. It’s either they “go crazy” over it or I “go crazy” for not doing it. It may come out futile (God forbid!) or worthwhile, whatever. What’s important is, I’m happy I finally did it.

Now I can relate.

Far Out

Surfing my Facebook account today, I chanced upon some photos uploaded by an old friend from grade school. Her photos were probably taken during a conference of Microsoft employees recently held in Atlanta, USA. One of the said photos had Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates’ face prominently displayed on a wide screen. Having seen the famous business mogul on the picture, I was awed – at my friend, for having Bill Gates as her boss.

To compensate my envy, I reminded myself of the newly elected president Noynoy Aquino’s vow to the citizenry – “Kayo ang boss ko!” Now, how is that in comparison to having Bill Gates as your boss?

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15 years ago, a schoolmate came up to me offering life insurance. In the course of our conversation, she asked me of anyone else from our school whom she could also offer her proposals. Thinking to be of help, I mentioned a friend’s name. The schoolmate instantly told me the friend I suggested had earlier declined as she already had plans of getting herself a new car, a reason farthest from my immediate plan that day – of which was to buy myself a new pair of socks!

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Farther back to the summer of 1982, I was an incoming 6th grader in a new city. Having Ateneo as the best school in town, my father took me there to try my luck. I made it. I fairly passed the entrance test. However, while the school administrator explained the school’s standards to my father – that of maintaining an average grade of 80 or higher, he (my Pa) suddenly got confused. Immediately he decided to take me somewhere else. I got even more confused!

About a kilometer away was the Philippine Women’s College. Soon enough, I found myself taking another entrance test, went through a short interview and next thing I knew, I was already enrolled! What can I say; I was only 12 years old.

Oddly, I turned out to be smarter (?) than most of the other kids out there. I was not so sure of the conundrum – was I really that clever, or were they just plain imperceptive kids? Either which, it was still a fun ride. Shhh...

Strings

I just realized people as skinny as a string probably do not eat at all. ‘Cause if they do, they probably wouldn’t be as wiry as they are.

I eat by heaps and so undeniably, I am hefty, too. Life obviously, is fair.

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No strings attached. 42 names off my social network today.

Ironically, it would take a lifetime for me to convert them into pounds (as in lbs).

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I don’t get it. People around here show up when they’re actually sick but call in sick when they’re actually out on vacations.

Strangle them?

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;-)

Mini Artwork

In 1992, I was a graduating (super) senior Fine Arts student at UP Cebu. As a prerequisite to all BFA students, we were required to mount either an individual or group painting exhibit (thesis to others) prior to graduation. But in those days, producing a one-man show especially for a young student, was both financially and physically exigent and so for practical reasons, along with my close friends Geraldine and Ivy, we decided to come up with a group exhibit instead. We opened in March of that year and pragmatically called our show “Pinuwawan”, to which Geraldine’s mother commented with “intawn pod!”

The exhibit ran for a week and so the 3 of us took turns on watching over it. One day while Ivy and I were taking our turn, we happened to find an extra strip of canvas in our stuff and playfully wrote a note on it that said, “to all artists, please draw here” and inserted it inside our guest book. When noontime came, we took off for a quick bite and came back an hour later, expecting for another boring afternoon. Little did we know that while we were out, a couple of artists dropped by to see our exhibit – Tito Cuevas, a well-known Cebuano abstractionist (better known as the bad guy of Cebuano art) who brought along with him a Japanese friend who also happened to be an artist!

We found ourselves speechless, or rather astounded over what we found inside our guest book. Probably upon seeing our note, the 2 artists gamely made an on-the-spot “mini artwork” each on the canvas and even signed them both! Thankfully, Ivy and I were evidently opposites and so splitting the artworks was never an issue. Being a Cuevas fan back in those days, a mere autograph was more than enough for me to be elated, much more acquiring an authentic artwork of his. Ivy on the other hand, was also ecstatic seeing the Japanese’s sketch. Too bad, I could no longer recall the artist’s name. (I wonder too, if she still has the artwork up to this day.)

It took me years to have the now classic Cuevas piece framed, for reasons I could not comprehend. But one thing is for sure, I am keeping this collector’s item for as long as I can.

I never got nor I may never get to say this to him personally but, "thank you Mr. Cuevas".