Binibirthday

29th of July 2010

It’s the eve of my 40th birthday and I’m feeling kinda lonely. I had no idea this is how it feels like to “begin one’s life”, as most people say. I must have felt the same way too in my past life – when I sprung out of my mother’s womb 4 decades ago. But just the same, I couldn’t even tell now, much less then.

Family and friends have long asked what my plans were. I keep telling them I don’t know. I have stopped “celebrating” my birthday on its 13th year. T’was probably also the last year my father could afford to buy me a whole lechon and have everybody around. The remaining years were spent “hitching” at a nephew’s birthday party.

I’ve had “surprise parties” too in the past. Thanks to my family and friends who took time preparing them – like waking up at midnight and treat me with some sweets; for showing up unannounced at intimate lunches or dinners; not to mention the countless treats from my boss. They’re all actually fun, albeit embarrassing at times. That’s why I’m relieved it’s raining tonight (with lightning, thunder, the works) so that only the bravest of the braves would show up again at midnight (assuming they’ve made earlier plans haha), knock at my door and yell out HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Regrets

Kenny Rankin sadly sang on the radio early this morning –

I have regrets
Regrets for my mistake in thinking only of myself
All that I have left are these regrets
Regret the things I did that somehow you just can't forgive
I guess I'll have to live with these regrets…

A song after, Daryl Hall screams over to John Oates’ guitar –

Sometimes I forget what I’m doing
I don’t forget what I want
Regret what I’ve done
Regret you?
I couldn’t go on…

And just before I got off from the car, Rupert Holmes, though hurting, calmly sang –

Him, him, him, what's she gonna do about him?
She's gonna have to do without him,
Or do without me, me, me,
No one gets to get it for free,
Time for me to make the girl see,
It's me or it's him…

What’s with all these mushy songs anyway? I could not relate (or rather refuse to relate?) to what they’ve been heartily expressing.

I’m reminded of Rupert Holmes and so I search for his songs in youtube. I found “Let’s Go Crazy Tonight” and it goes –

Life can be too much you see
We all need insanity
You’re off the hook when you’re off the wall
You got to say, the hell with them all

C’mon let’s get crazy tonight
No time to worry if we’re wrong or we’re right
Caught up with people we’ve never met
Ooh, Sunday morning, we’ll forgive and forget

Before the dawn begins to shine it’s hazy blue light
Let’s get crazy tonight…

Last week, I finally did something I didn’t want to regret. It’s either they “go crazy” over it or I “go crazy” for not doing it. It may come out futile (God forbid!) or worthwhile, whatever. What’s important is, I’m happy I finally did it.

Now I can relate.

Far Out

Surfing my Facebook account today, I chanced upon some photos uploaded by an old friend from grade school. Her photos were probably taken during a conference of Microsoft employees recently held in Atlanta, USA. One of the said photos had Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates’ face prominently displayed on a wide screen. Having seen the famous business mogul on the picture, I was awed – at my friend, for having Bill Gates as her boss.

To compensate my envy, I reminded myself of the newly elected president Noynoy Aquino’s vow to the citizenry – “Kayo ang boss ko!” Now, how is that in comparison to having Bill Gates as your boss?

---

15 years ago, a schoolmate came up to me offering life insurance. In the course of our conversation, she asked me of anyone else from our school whom she could also offer her proposals. Thinking to be of help, I mentioned a friend’s name. The schoolmate instantly told me the friend I suggested had earlier declined as she already had plans of getting herself a new car, a reason farthest from my immediate plan that day – of which was to buy myself a new pair of socks!

---

Farther back to the summer of 1982, I was an incoming 6th grader in a new city. Having Ateneo as the best school in town, my father took me there to try my luck. I made it. I fairly passed the entrance test. However, while the school administrator explained the school’s standards to my father – that of maintaining an average grade of 80 or higher, he (my Pa) suddenly got confused. Immediately he decided to take me somewhere else. I got even more confused!

About a kilometer away was the Philippine Women’s College. Soon enough, I found myself taking another entrance test, went through a short interview and next thing I knew, I was already enrolled! What can I say; I was only 12 years old.

Oddly, I turned out to be smarter (?) than most of the other kids out there. I was not so sure of the conundrum – was I really that clever, or were they just plain imperceptive kids? Either which, it was still a fun ride. Shhh...

Strings

I just realized people as skinny as a string probably do not eat at all. ‘Cause if they do, they probably wouldn’t be as wiry as they are.

I eat by heaps and so undeniably, I am hefty, too. Life obviously, is fair.

---

No strings attached. 42 names off my social network today.

Ironically, it would take a lifetime for me to convert them into pounds (as in lbs).

---

I don’t get it. People around here show up when they’re actually sick but call in sick when they’re actually out on vacations.

Strangle them?

---

;-)

Mini Artwork

In 1992, I was a graduating (super) senior Fine Arts student at UP Cebu. As a prerequisite to all BFA students, we were required to mount either an individual or group painting exhibit (thesis to others) prior to graduation. But in those days, producing a one-man show especially for a young student, was both financially and physically exigent and so for practical reasons, along with my close friends Geraldine and Ivy, we decided to come up with a group exhibit instead. We opened in March of that year and pragmatically called our show “Pinuwawan”, to which Geraldine’s mother commented with “intawn pod!”

The exhibit ran for a week and so the 3 of us took turns on watching over it. One day while Ivy and I were taking our turn, we happened to find an extra strip of canvas in our stuff and playfully wrote a note on it that said, “to all artists, please draw here” and inserted it inside our guest book. When noontime came, we took off for a quick bite and came back an hour later, expecting for another boring afternoon. Little did we know that while we were out, a couple of artists dropped by to see our exhibit – Tito Cuevas, a well-known Cebuano abstractionist (better known as the bad guy of Cebuano art) who brought along with him a Japanese friend who also happened to be an artist!

We found ourselves speechless, or rather astounded over what we found inside our guest book. Probably upon seeing our note, the 2 artists gamely made an on-the-spot “mini artwork” each on the canvas and even signed them both! Thankfully, Ivy and I were evidently opposites and so splitting the artworks was never an issue. Being a Cuevas fan back in those days, a mere autograph was more than enough for me to be elated, much more acquiring an authentic artwork of his. Ivy on the other hand, was also ecstatic seeing the Japanese’s sketch. Too bad, I could no longer recall the artist’s name. (I wonder too, if she still has the artwork up to this day.)

It took me years to have the now classic Cuevas piece framed, for reasons I could not comprehend. But one thing is for sure, I am keeping this collector’s item for as long as I can.

I never got nor I may never get to say this to him personally but, "thank you Mr. Cuevas".

Risky Business

My dearest Tom Cruise, this has totally nothing to do with your debut on the silver screen but please allow me to draw on your movie’s legendary title for this brief sappy moment.

Twelve years ago, I was literally on a high having just been offered a new job coupled with a hundred percent raise on my then existing wage rate. It came just at the right time, when I was about to give up on my worn-out advertising job. And even if it wasn’t exactly served on a silver platter either, luckily I still managed to acquire the attractive post without so much fuss.

It was both exciting and terrifying when I started my new work. It took a while for me to blend with the rest of the group but eventually, I was able to squeeze myself into the mold that already existed. Albeit the work involved was not as taxing as my previous job, I was able to withstand temporary boredom from time to time. And with the add-on privileges that weren’t as common somewhere else, I was actually having fun.

I was taken aback when the management suddenly turned its course and did some mutation on our existing benefits, causing distress leading to animosity on our behalf. I, together with a close friend and colleague, even made a few attempts if only to reclaim whatever we have unlawfully lost but to no avail. And with the possibility of losing our jobs, it was demoralizing to be treated in such a way that leaves you no choice but to accept what was only being offered.

Several years have gone by and our assignments are about to end again. The end that is more vivid this time. And without any assurance of further employment offers, I am about to completely lose the 12 years (of service) I have ardently built up in this company. Thanks to brilliant and radical minds, we were (finally) able to establish basis on whatever is due us legally. Although it may still take time to resolve and rectify issues and differences between the management and the workforce, I am willing to wait on it. And this time, I certainly wouldn’t give up on this one without putting on a good fight.

The Mega Reunion

I usually hit the sheets early on Sundays but the other night, I tried to fight back sleepiness for that much-awaited mega reunion of the formerly famous Sharon-Gabby tandem plus their daughter KC. Earlier in the news, the reunion was supposedly set for KC’s new show but turned out later to be intended for Sharon’s. (Apologies to my US-based high school friends Binky and Debra for the wrong info.)

KC did the opening number with a song that said about “new version of me” or something. After which Gabby comes in and they sang together the theme song of the movie they were promoting. Following the humdrum duet, KC calls in her ninang ZsaZsa Padilla to help her out in dealing with the apparently uncomfortable meeting again of her biological parents after 15 years. While the 3 of them were still busy chatting on national TV, the visibly conscious megastar walks in, probably too eager and couldn’t wait to share the same stage with her ex-husband and daughter. KC seemed a bit tensed with her parents’ first public reunion after a long time. Indulge her. It’s never easy to be an estranged couple’s daughter, much less having Sharon and Gabby as parents. Gabby on the other hand was rather unperturbed and appears to be enjoying the moment (as if he’s the only one among the 3 who’s ever moved on). Sharon, as always, turns out to be the feeblest party of them all, with her incessant syrupiness of ancient times. To think the audience wasn’t even bantering at all!

Having been dumped by the ever youthful-looking Gabby eons ago, Sharon’s retribution rather seems the other way around. Like adding up those superfluous flab and annoying “pagpapacute” making her self look even more pathetic. I wonder which is harder to do in getting back at an ex – get fit and look deliciously gorgeous for the ex to drool on or, putting on those extra pounds and look terribly unattractive making the ex puke and wonder how the hell did he ever fall for you in the first place! I bet Sharon gave more attention on the latter. Standing alone beside the very lean Gabby is totally a disaster. No amount of any black ensemble (from head to toe) can cover up those unwanted love handles she couldn’t get rid of for the longest time. And with Gabby summing it all up by also wearing black tops, it only made him look even more like half the size of Sharon! Now where did all the studio’s stylists go?

I skipped most of their discussions on the show because it only made me hate my former idol Sharon more. Yeah, I used to be a huge fan. The whole family used to be a huge fan. Watching a Sharon movie then used to be a family tradition. But that was eons ago too. These days I can proudly say, I can already afford to pay no attention to any news on Sharon (except for this reunion ruckus) and get on with my early Sunday sleep. Yeah. After all, I’m already done watching Kris earlier on The Buzz!